Sri Hamsaduta continued...

*-71-*

Oh Lord! We do not blame You for having forsaken us because persons possessing a dark complexion can rarely give up their deceitfulness. Just consider the case of the cuckoos - the crow rears them from the time of their incubation, but even so, as soon as the cuckoo’s wings have developed and they become able to fly they forget even such a dear benefactor as the crow forever.

*-72-*

Oh undisputed Lord of Vrindavan! I have finished my preamble now listen to the drama which is even now being enacted there. First, however, I must ask You one question: "Do You ever remember these two unfortunate syllables, ‘Ra-dha’?"

*-73-*

Oh Krishna! You used to be so attached to Your "household affairs" in the caves of Govardhan and the forest groves. What anguish it is for me that everyone is whispering about the misfortune of the gopis, for she who was formerly supreme in Your estimation has now been reduced to nothing more than any other common-place woman.

*-74-*

Oh foremost of the Yadu clan, it is impossible for Srimati Radharani to live if You remain forgetful of Vrindavan. She is thinking that if death does not favour her soon then how will she be able to pass the days seeing the picturesque landscape which was formerly the abode of joy for her but is now simply a source of endless torture in Your absence.

*-75-*

But death does not favour her either. Her tears have formed a river whose waves have become even more forceful than those of the Yamuna which in comparison looks wan. Considering this, Yamaraj, the Yamuna’s elder brother, has become envious and does not oblige Srimati even when she cries out, "Oh Lord of Death, please have mercy on me as I do not wish to live another moment!"

*-76-*

Our dearest friend Radha saw Your inexplicably attractive form engaged in different sporting activities only once and immediately she lost her sense of discrimination as to what is beneficial or harmful for her. Like a moth speedily enters into a flame she has entered helplessly into a blazing fire of love for You giving up all hopes of ever being happy again.

*-77-*

Oh Krishna, You are to the residents of Vrindavan what the moonlight is to the waterlilies. I cannot say anything more than that Radharani is a victim of her own foolishness for even now she has not been able to remove from her heart even slightly the memory of that person who is responsible for her distress. All these afflictions of hers are self-imposed.

*-78-*

Kubja now freely enjoys the pleasure of carefree residence in Your heart so who can be more fortunate than she? My simple friend Radha has somehow become bereft of her pious activities because she is no longer able to enter into that abode for even a moment.

*-79-*

Oh destroyer of the Mura demon! When Srimati faints at the whistling sound of the bamboos in the wind (remembering the sound of Your flute) the elderly persons become puzzled and search for the cause of her malady. Some fear that she has been possessed by spirits, some apprehend that she was bitten by some cruel serpent (not knowing that actually yes, she has been bitten by that snake Akrura). Others ascribe the cause to epilepsy, but no one actually knows.

*-80-*

Oh most beautiful one! Your form is like honey for the starving eyes of the world. You left for Mathura so long ago and Radha has become most anxious due to not getting any news about You. Lately, new waves of ominous fear are dancing constantly in the inner chambers of her mind.

*-81-*

Listen, I shall tell You how she passes her days. Sometimes she offers her respects to those sages whose words are known to be unfailing in hopes of getting advice as to how she can get You back; she sometimes tries to please the mystics who know various spells (thinking that there must surely be some mantra she can chant which will force You to come back); sometimes she humbly renders service to those who know the art of using potions in order to get their help; on occasion she prays to Parvati Devi for the benediction of seeing You again. Oh Krishna! that poor girl sees nothing of merit anywhere in this world due to being upset by Your absence.

*-82-*

Oh enemy of Kamsa! My dearest friend spends all her time these days by Nandiswar, worshipping You as she remembers You as the protector of the animals in Vrindavan, as one sporting a fresh peacock feather in His headdress, as one engaged in such whimsical sports as would cause the cupidity of all women to increase; as one whose form is more beautiful than that of a new rain cloud and who is always enjoying new loving affairs. All she wants is to be able to have You by her side again and that is all she prays for - to either You or to Siva or any other god.

*-83-*

Radha has become so confused that drawing a captivating image of You on the ground with the juice of the Tamal tree, she embraces the neck of that image with her vine-like arms and falls to the ground unconscious. Alas! she is no longer able to distinguish reality from non-reality.

*-84-*

Oh Krishna, thinking of You has completely stunned the senses of Radha and often she even thinks that she has become You! Even so the fire of separation does not stop burning her - this intolerable suffering does not let up for even a moment.

*-85-*

Although You have so cruelly thrown Radharani onto a pile of suffering still she constantly thinks of You and Your activities even now. That most perfect of chaste women thinks that Your heart must be broken due to separation from her and thus her own heart breaks day by day.

*-86-*

Oh destroyer of Kamsa! Our sweetest friend Radha has become absorbed in deep yogic trance because she has heard that You always reveal Yourself to such meditators. She is preparing herself for the hardest of austerities because she thinks that in this way people are favored by your appearance before them.

*-87-*

Oh Krishna! Our dear friend causes all her associates to become despondent because she remains constantly bathed in tears as she calls out Your names: "Oh Murari! Mukunda! Hari! Oh son of Nanda!" She also sings of Your qualities: "The hue of Your body is no different from that of a blue lotus blossoming in the waters of the Yamuna. You are the delight of the house of Nanda Maharaja and You are the jewel amongst the gods.

*-88-*

The blazing conflagration of separation from You is burning up the forest of Radha’s body; it has surrounded the doe of her life and to make matters worse - Cupid is like a hunter mercilessly shooting his arrows at her. All these circumstances have become so overpowering that I fear this doe shall be forced to abandon the forest of Radha’s body within a day or two. (Therefore, if You wish to see her again in this life You had better come quickly for there’s not much time left.)

*-89-*

Radhika has now surrendered herself fully to Siva whose body is the white color of the foam on the ocean of milk and who is crowned by the moon. Since he is the subduer of Cupid it is beyond the power of Eros to do her any harm. Only You for some reason remain tormenting her constantly for the sake of Your own amusement.

*-90-*

Oh jewel of the Yadu dynasty! You do not know the intensity of the feelings of the cowherd maidens; neither do we know what magic causes us to go on loving You despite Your cruelty. Your friend Uddhava (who was known as a madman in his childhood because of his absorption in love for You) has tried to mitigate our suffering with many spiritual teachings from the scriptures, but frankly, such utterances only aggravate the anguish of Srimati Radharani.

*-91-*

That Uddhava who is a true follower of his teacher Brihaspati now holds the post of prime minister in the Yadu court. Our friend, Yamuna is the sister of the Lord of Yamaraj. These two are therefore no longer actively pursuing our interests - and, oh chief of the Yadus, who else is there known to us in Your court who will be able to properly narrate Radhika’s sorrows and thus appease You.

*-92-*

Due to throwing herself on the ground in agony Srimati Radha rani has become bruised externally as well as internally. She is enwrapped in great hopes that have yet to be fulfilled and her bodily color has become wan. She finds no joy in anything and thus even her conversation and amusements in the association of her girl-friends have come to an end. Oh Krishna, You are like the moon - when will You come and revive Radha with the touch of Your feet just as the moon revives the lily with the touch of its rays.

*-93-94-*

Oh hero! for so long my sakhi has hoped against hope for reunion with You and only for that reason did she make any effort to protect her life against innumerous threats. Now, however, the faintest hope for such a reunion has deserted her as the expected date of Your return has long since passed.

She is calmly gazing at the mango buds in expectation of a quick demise. Previously she would not dare to look at things which promote the memory of You, her beloved, but now she is looking at them thinking they will expedite her expiry.

*-95-*

Radhika’s end is near and her friends have long since given up efforts to save her for they can see that Cupid has causelessly chosen to make her his enemy and torment her and it is impossible to do anything at all to help her. Only one friend still remains by the side of the lotus-eyed Radha to preserve her life and that is the hope of Your return.

*-96-*

Oh Krishna! Expert enjoyer of the rasa dance! If You have truly forsaken that Radha with whom You once created a love which deepened in intensity at every moment, then curses on this swab of cotton which we are holding before her nose and which indicates that there is still some slight bit of life within her.

*-97-*

Oh Mukunda! Who on this earth can narrate the hundreds of things that Radharani prattles in her delirious state? Oh Lord! let me repeat some of those utterances. Please make these statements enter into Your beautiful ears which are decorated by dolphin shaped earrings.

*-98-*

Radha says, "Oh Lalita! When Krishna was in Vrindavan, His ever-increasing love for me made easily consider my religious duties to my husband as something exceedingly insignificant. How painful it is that He no longer loves me. I’m embarrassed that I am still maintaining my life in this body which has now become un unbearable burden."

*-99-*

"I do not know the words which most effectively can be used in a message to Him. If I say, ‘I love You more than my very self,’ then He will consider it pretentious. If I say, ‘I cannot live without You,’ it speaks of my selfishness and fades the glory of love and if I say, ‘Why do You not come back to Vrindavan,’ then it will reveal that we are always thinking of Him."

*-100-*

"Oh sakhi! Before, when Krishna loved me,then these forest groves gave me such pure joy,how these trees were then the cause of unlimited pleasure to me. Now that He has become indifferent, all of them are simply the causes of suffering. When her lord ignore her, then what girl would not look upon the whole creation with distaste?"

*-101-*

"Oh dear Lalita! Will Krishna ever call me away again by force from the assembly of beautiful-eyed women all unsettled by feelings of love for Him due to the sounding of the sweet melodious notes of His flute? Will I ever gaze with a look of maddened love into the eyes of that lord of mine whose dancing eyebrows have ruined the religious vows of all the chaste girls of Vraja?"

*-102-*

"Oh well-wishing friend, long past is the day when naughty Krishna, so greatly eager to enjoy with me, found me in a cave in Govardhan where I was playfully hiding from Him. He grabbed hold of me suddenly, pulling me to His chest as I feigned anger. In the end my breasts were left marked with hundreds of half-moon shaped scratches."

*-103-*

"In the beginning of the sweet autumn season filled with the sounds of buzzing bees in mountain forests whitened by waves of silver moonlight, will I ever wrap that Govinda tightly in these arms as we battle one another in Cupid’s erotic war games."

*-104-*

"My mind is burning up! How terrible! What should I do ? I can see no shore on either side of this great ocean of suffering into which I have fallen. I am making this prayer to you with my head bowed - somebody please tell me how I can cross over, or at least how I can have the patience to tolerate the situation."

*-105-*

"If Krishna has really become the foremost of the hard-hearted by leaving me then let it be so - He is free. As for me, my only hope is to apply myself to my marriage duties (or for death to come and take me). But who could endure His coming here to Vrindavan on the pretext of my dreams and forcefully ravishing me against my will."

*-106-*

"This improper behaviour of His is giving great distress to my mind so you should go immediately to Mathura and stop that irresponsible and checky boy from acting in that way. Oh friend, do it quickly before He comes again and at the beginning of my dreams tears off my waist-bells in a frenzy of lusty passion."

*-107-*

"Listen - it’s not just in dreams that He comes either. Don’t suddenly disbelieve me thinking that I’ve gone mad, but listen to what I’ve experienced directly. How surprised I was when Your friend Krishna unexpectedly came to the forests by the side of Govardhan and started to demonstrate His professionalism in the game of love."

*-108-*

"I ran away from His touch trying to escape into the deeper woods where it was dark and He would not be able to see me, but He could tell where I had gone by the sound of my ankle bells which only tinkled louder as I quickened my step in fear of being caught. Then He came near me and playfully moved to touch me. So eager was He that his eyes positively gleamed in excitement and He became unaware that His flute had slipped from His hand and fallen to the ground."

*-109-*

"Oh sakhi - I then became unable to get away from Him so I covered myself with the thick wines decorated with smile-like flower over myself and began to whimper in trepidation, saying, "Don’t touch me, You fiend." Then that friend of yours started laughing and jokingly lifted my head so that He could kiss me with His lips which then glowed as bright as the bimba fruit."

*-110-*

"I had hidden the flute in my braid, and so, being afraid of discovery, I feigned anger and began to slowly walk away again toward the mountain, but then He pulled my hair to stop me from going. Thus discovering the flute He said, "Ha! I’ve caught you now, you thief!" and began to carry me off by force to imprison me in a nearby forest cave."

*-111-*

"Another time when I was in the grove of Madhavi vines then that impertinent youth crept up from behind and forcefully covered my eyes with His hands. I became irritated and went to snatch His fingers and push them away, but as I did so he suddenly disappeared. Oh sakhi, I don’t know where that king of cheaters has gone and hidden."

*-112-*

"Oh simple one! These are all incidents of the past. Enough of them - look before you, your friend is here now, His face decorated with a honey-like smile and like an ocean of erotic love sports, He is throwing a red banduk flower at me and making suggestive motions with His pillar like arms that He will come to embrace me right now."

*-113-*

"Oh friend, don’t be shy! Get up quickly and tie that miscreant up with your thick necklace of pearls before He runs off to Mathura again!" Speaking in this way she suddenly falls to the ground in a stupor born of all these intense emotions coming from her ever expanding love for You. You see, in this way she is making all her girlfriends cry ceaselessly.

*-114-*

Oh, what pain it gives me to think what a wicked-hearted woman I am! Since our childhood days I always advised her to play ‘hard-to-get’ and put on a pretence of indifference towards You. Oh lord, You are the teacher of the gopis in the art of love, because of me she was never able to fully enjoy the embraces of Your flawless arms even though she never wanted anything else from the very first time she saw You.

*-115-*

When will I be able to serve her by fanning her with a clump of fresh branches as she lies with her eyes closed experiencing the happiness of undisturbed sleep resting in Your arms on the veranda of Your garden-house playground scented by the fragrant breezes carrying the odour of the Yamuna’s lotus flowers, her hair full of the fragrance of madhavi flowers.

*-116-*

Hiding secretly nearby, when I see her in one edge of the Vrindavan woods in great joy after having spent the autumn night in love sporting with You, all the flower decorations in her hair bruised and faded and her arms wrapped around Your shoulders, seeing You both like this I shall laugh in great happiness.

*-117-*

When will the day come when I shall be able to say to her, "Sakhi, I am going to pick flowers aver there some distance away. You go ahead to the river bank where there are so many nice tulasi trees and pick their leaves and flowers." In this way I shall cunningly send her to go to the place where You have hidden Yourself, oh lover of the gopis, so that the two of You may fulfill all of Your desires.

*-118-*

So my dear swan, after you have thus submitted all these Gokula messages at His feet you must offer our respects to all the intimate associates of the Lord and incur their pleasure, for those ornaments, etc. that the Lord carries on His own body are the recipients of His special mercy and love.

*-119-*

Oh lover of the she-swans! First you should speak to the forest flower garland which so attractively adorns His chest. After inquiring after her health you should say to her as follow: "Oh highly qualified one! Have you forgotten the doe-eyed Radha who for so long accompanied you, being adhered to the breast of the enemy of Kamsa?"

*-120-*

Oh garland! You are experienced in amorous affairs. Don’t you remember the time when my friend Radha, incensed at the Lord of Gokula for His infidelity, held on to you and pulled so strongly that His peacock feathered crown toppled from His head and His eyes rolled in fear.

*-121-*

Then you should turn to His dolphin shaped earrings and say, "What is the necessity of asking a fortunate entity such as yourself as to his well-being, for you are always kissing Krishna’s smiling cheeks and being touched by the darting glances from the corners of His eyes.

*-122-*

Oh goddess! Listen to me. I am taking shelter of you with a heart full of love because I know that you live at the base of His vine-like ears. When there are no Vrisnis about to overhear you, please whisper into those ears od His all of these please of ours; convey the sufferings Radharani experiences in separation from Him."

*-123-*

Oh best of the birds! Then you must kindly give the following notification to the Koustubha jewel, speaking with all humility. After conveying to him my loving embrace, say: "Oh friend, it seems you have completely forgotten even Radha, one who was so dear to you. I must be due to your always remaining on Hari’s chest - this has made you fickle and everyone knows how foolish it is to love the fickle.

*-124-*

Oh jewel of the gods! Because you abide on His chest you know His heart, therefore I am asking you whether we shall ever see His wild dancing on the banks of the Yamuna along with musical expertise as He plays His flute to the accompaniment of the jingling waist and anklebells, bracelets and other ornaments of the dancing gopis.

*-125-*

Oh conchshell! You are a newcomer and have never met us gopis and thus you haven’t got the slightest conception of the glories of Srimati Radharani. Even as, we appeal to you, telling you of the pain within our hearts, for those who are of a generous nature are always affectionate to those who are pained and weary.

*-126-*

You are the offspring of the ocean’s heart! Oh friend! Please come one time for a visit to the precincts of Vrindavan - bringing Govinda with you, of course. You will enjoy residing there. But then again, how will you be able to make the land of cows dear when the glories of the flute’s fortune are being sung everywhere constantly?

*-127-*

After you have thus spoken to each of these intimate associates of the Lord, then brother, speak to Him once again, telling Him the tales of His own ten incarnations in words which are sweet and loving but mixed with a good dose of anger also.

*-128-*

Oh Great Fish! My sakhi baited the hook of her heart with the delicacy of love just to catch You, throwing it into the water of affection. But You swallowed the bait and the hook and pulled the string of her ability to reason so that she has completely submerged in those waters. Alas, what can the poor girl do now?

*-129-*

Oh Krishna! My lamentable friend came closer to You when she saw Your attractive form and dalliances. She was both curious and enlivened greatly, but You immediately behaved like a tortoise, hiding Your beautiful limbs and showing only a hard shell. Is such behaviour proper?

*-130-*

Oh enemy of Kamsa! Once again You have demonstrated the behaviours of a hog by taking Kubja, a servant girl of a low class to Your heart while she was taking sandalwood paste for King Kamsa. Thus You made her Your wife just as in Your boar incarnation You picked up the earth from the mud at the bottom of the universe and made her Your wife.

*-131-*

Although Your pastimes as half-man and half-lion are long since past, still You have not abandoned the mood of that incarnation. At that time You showed favor to Prahlad while to others You displayed extreme cruelty, tearing open their hearts. This time also You are showing attachment to Akrura while You tear open our hearts by leaving us in this heartless way.

*-132-*

Oh Vaman! Just like Bali ignored his guru, so Radha also ignored the wishes of her elders, thinking her love was sufficiently powerful and that thus You were hers. In this way she surrendered herself along with the kingdom of her mind to You completely. Well, she got her just deserts, for You have shackled her in the bonds of unfulfilled love and thrown her far away from You just as Vaman bound Bali in chains and exiled him to the lower planets.

*-133-*

Oh Lord! my girlfriend wants to jump from the mountain and commit suicide and thus it is logical for You to be hard on her - Oh Bhrigupati! It is very difficult to understand Your activities when You have even forgotten Your father Nanda Maharaj who is so dear to You. (From the point of view of Bhrigupati.) Oh Lord, Radha is trying to conquer Your capital city and so You are naturally cruel to her. Still Your activities are hard to understand, for You have abandoned even Your own guru Siva when You became unable to maintain the bow he had given You, being defeated by Ramachandra.

*-134-*

Oh Lord of the Radha dynasty! Now that You have left Vraja all the cows are greatly oppressed by different miseries (or the demon Dasana who was killed by Rama); similarly the area surrounding Govardhan appears to be drying up (or taking on the nature of Ravana’s brother Khara); the land of Vraja will soon be bereft of Srimati Radharani who is dying in separation for You (or the land is being subjugated by Viradha, another demon killed by Rama); it can be seen that now a great plague is fearfully dancing in the once happy land (or the demon Marica is dancing fearfully). How can You remain indifferent when all these demons You once killed are thus dancing in delight at Your non-presence?

*-135-*

Oh Buddha! Omniscient one! You are always merciful to all, but why are You not sympathetic to Srimati Radharani who is never attached to anything but You? She is inimical to the god of lust and opposes everything which interferes with the attainment of her desired goal, always remaining absorbed in meditation on You.

*-136-*

Oh Kalki! Come here and with the sword of Your loving sidelong glances cut apart the infidel suffering born of Your separation. Come and show Your love for the cowherd men and make the land of Vrindavan a place with a happy Radharani once again.

*-137-*

Oh lord of the birds! In this way you should repeat these messages of love to Krishna with wetting your face and body with the tears pouring from your eyes. Then with your head lowered look at His lotus feet and wait attentively for His reply.

*-138-*

Oh lord of the swans! Please don’t hesitate - just think how rare a sight the form of Nanda Maharaj’s son is. Shouldn’t you go and see Him at least once? The gopis are the glory of the world - don’t you think you should do this little favour for them? It will only take a few hours, please brother, don’t doubt or delay.

*-139-*

Oh enchanter of the female swans! Your mind is absorbed in the desire to appreciate the finer points of romantic dealings; you are the most discerning of persons, for you are able to separate just the milk from a solution of milk and water. Therefore I ask you, do you think it is proper for you to delay in such an important and romantic affair as going to Mathura to speak to Krishna on our behalf?

*-140-*

All glories to my spiritual master! Just like Sukadev Muni was devoted to Lord Krishna from his very being constantly absorbed in discussion of the Srimad Bhagavatam and thus very dear to the devotees, so too was he always indifferent to the pleasure of material life being fully aware of the sweetness of the devotional life. He is the foremost of those scholars who concern themselves with the esoteric aspects of the scriptures dealing with Radha and Krishna’s conjugal affairs. All glories to him who is known in the world by the name "Sakar"1.

*-141-*

This poem is concerned with the most confidential and profound of Krishna’s lilas and is therefore glorious. Those persons who are both knowledgeable in and sensitive to such transcendental subject will never criticize either the external merits and defects of the work from a crass technical stand-point nor will they find fault in the activities of the Lord Himself who is the only true friend of the world. May this short opus therefore be dedicated to Him and may it be the cause of deep and even increasing joy to Him.